Here’s your dilemma:
You work a wedding with a DJ you’ve never met before. He’s amazing. Perfect announcements, guests dancing all night long. The bride and groom embrace him at the end of the night.
You decide to start recommending him to your couples.
Then two weeks later, after you’ve given several couples an enthusiastic recommendation for your new DJ acquaintance, a scathing review appears online.
The bride complains that he showed up late for the wedding and they had to delay the ceremony 30 minutes. He played the wrong song for the First Dance and most of the guests missed the cake cutting because he didn’t get their attention. The bride admits that the music was good and people danced, but, “He was unprofessional and my First Dance was ruined. I would NOT recommend him.”
The review looks legit. You begin to worry about giving the DJ’s card to those couples.
The wedding vendor scene is abuzz with the gossip. The photographer at the wedding becomes the #1 witness.
“It’s true, the ceremony did start late,” the photographer says. “But it was because the venue manager made him move his equipment at the last minute. I don’t know about their wedding song, but he was great about communicating the cake cutting with me. I didn’t notice the guests missing it, not any more than usual.”
What do you do?
a) Call the DJ to find out his side of the story.
b) Call up the couples you referred him to and tell them NOT to hire him.
c) Never recommend him again.
d) Talk to everyone you know about the incident and ask their opinions.
e) Freak out and do all of the above.
Who do you trust? The bride or the wedding pro?
He Said, She Said
There’s no easy answer to this dilemma. A lot of it is going to depend on your relationship with the parties and your capacity to handle risk.
Your professional reputation can be damaged if you recommend another wedding professional who doesn’t deliver. It’s easy to understand why you’d be upset.
But there are a few important things to consider when navigating the situation.
#1 – Your recommendation of another wedding pro does not make you responsible for their behavior.
You want to refer only the best because it reflects on you. But that doesn’t mean you’re to blame if something goes wrong.
Things happen. People make mistakes. Don’t beat yourself up about something you can’t go back into the past and change.
#2 – Spreading gossip makes you look bad.
There’s a tendency to want to defend yourself. You may want to get to the bottom of things by talking to other people in order to relieve your guilt.
Don’t do it.
This really has nothing to do with you. The damage is done. All you’ll succeed in doing by calling up the couples you’ve referred and warning them about him is spreading rumors in the wedding industry.
#3 – Make the decision that’s right for you and keep it quiet.
In this scenario, it probably makes sense to stop referring the DJ. You don’t know him well and the negative feedback is enough to make you cautious.
But what if you’d worked a dozen weddings with the guy without incident? What if he’s a good friend of yours?
Then your choice isn’t so simple. You may want to have a heart to heart with your friend and find out what happened.
In any case, decide whether or not to continue to refer this guy, do what you need to do, and stay out of the gossip and rumor mill.
These situations are tricky to navigate.
What would you do in this situation? How have you handled similar dilemmas?
Leave a comment below.