“No is a complete sentence.”

My husband tells me this was his grandmother’s mantra.  Grandma Linnie was very good at saying no, even to her darling grandchildren.

I didn’t have a grandmother to teach me this lesson.  In fact, the lesson I Iearned was quite the opposite.

I learned to say YES to pretty much everything that was asked of me.

As a result, I’ve poured myself into serving our wedding clients and our wedding pro clients, solving their problems, lending inspiration and support that’s so desperately needed.  In that sense, this work ethic has been a tremendous asset.

But over the years I’ve come to realize that for everything you say YES to, you are saying NO to something else.

When we say yes to booking that wedding, we’re saying no to a weekend with the family.  When I say yes to writing that extra article, I’m saying no to putting the finishing touches on my fiction project.

At a certain point, it’s time to take back your power and say NO to the things you don’t really want.

I invite you to join me in some self-reflection as I ask myself these questions:

What am I saying YES to?  Is it feeding me?  

What can I say NO to in order to make more room for the things I love?

If you find yourself automatically leaping to “yes” when something is asked of you, I challenge you to try this experiment.  At least once per day, say NO to something, anything.

Even if it’s as simple as your spouse asking you to grab the newspaper off the front steps, just pause a moment and see what it feels like to say no, or at least to imagine saying no, before automatically doing it.

Empower yourself and empower your life with that powerful complete sentence, “No,” so you can say, “Yes,” to something delightful and unexpected.

When do you say NO?

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Stephanie Padovani

Stephanie is a Hudson Valley wedding insider, blogger, writer, and wedding business coach. Want to book more weddings at higher prices? Quit dealing with price shoppers? Transform your wedding business so that it supports the life you really want? Look her up! They don't call her the Wedding Business Cheerleader for nothing. :)

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2 thoughts on “Tale of the Spineless Pushover”

  1. Michelle says:

    I had a question about saying NO. I have a bride who’s out of state. She contracted me for reception coordination and partial planning. However I do offer additional services for brides with guests of 50 and under, small floral, linens and chair covers, plighting. She has not reserved those additional services and I did find her a linen vendor, which every single one I found prior didn’t fit her budget. She won’t give me a budget to work with and I’m kind of sensing she might have very limited funds. Well ,now she’s asking me to do the linen set up and breakdown, she mentioned since I’m already suppose to be there, why can’t I do the linens as well? If she had went thru me for linens the labor would’ve been included with the fee, but she sees it as I’m already paid so I why can’t I do it? How Do I answer that?

    1. The important thing here is CONFIDENCE. You need to know you’re worth it. You need to value yourself or no one else will.

      It’s when we doubt our value that we have trouble saying know. (I share this from personal experience!)

      Here’s what I’d do:

      1) Write out your answer and phrase it something like this: “I’m sorry but I can’t include this because [INSERT YOUR REASON/S HERE].”

      2) Add what you CAN do. “I can do this for an additional $XX,” or “You might contact the caterer or have a friend do this for you as a gift.”

      3) Practice your response until you can say it confidently and naturally.

      4) Call up the bride and tell her!

      When you say NO with confidence, she’ll believe you, too. Then you can focus on what you CAN do to help her.

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