Once upon a time when I was a little girl, I hurt my finger.  I don’t remember what I did; most likely I punched my brother too hard.

Anyway, every time I bent my finger it left me squealing in pain.

“Ma!” I yelled.  “My finger hurts when I bend it!”

My mother looked up at me with half-lidded eyes.  “Then don’t bend it.”

The Gift of Indifference

My mother’s solutions were practical and infuriating like that.  I wanted help and she wouldn’t give it to me.

But now that I’m a grown up (sort of) I can appreciate the gift of her indifference.

When I had a problem, she forced me to find my own solution.

As a result, I became extremely resourceful.  Give me a problem and I will find the answer, one way or another.

My mother gave me the gift of finding my own power.

The Truth I Know About You

Why am I sharing this with you?

Well, sometimes I feel like your mother.  (Don’t worry; mama loves you, sweetheart.)

We have wedding vendors emailing us with questions every day.  I love you and I want to answer, solving your problems in a way my own mother never did.

But sometimes, I think I’m not doing you any favors.  By answering your question, I’m robbing you of the opportunity to explore your own resources and figure it out for yourself.  You never get to realize your own power.

You can figure out how to do anything.

Anything you don’t know, you can learn.

Anything you can’t or don’t want to learn, you can get someone else to do for you.


Once you know this about yourself, you can overcome any obstacle.

One final love note from your Book More Brides Mom:

I’ve noticed that when I don’t answer an “urgent” question immediately, 9 times out of 10 the person ends up solving the problem on his/her own.  Hmmmm.

What lessons did your mother teach you?

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