Bridezilla's Alter Ego

Quick quiz.

Which is worse, Bridezilla or Bridechilla?

Wedding professionals, if we took a vote, right here, right now, which would you choose?

I know that through your wedding business, you’ve met both—you’ve overheard a bridezilla discuss how she’s required her bridesmaids to dye their hair brown so she’s the only blonde, the bridezilla who dumps a bridesmaid because the bridesmaid has joyfully announced she’s pregnant, the bridezilla who is just downright not nice to your poor receptionist—for inexplicable reasons.

But how about the bride who says, “I don’t know?” to every question you ask?

And every “I don’t know” sounds like it has a question mark at the end, which is endlessly frustrating because it sounds like she doesn’t even know if she doesn’t know what she wants.

You ask, “What kind of flowers were you envisioning for your bouquet?”

“I’m not sure?” She responds. (Another variation of “I don’t know?”—also frustrating.) And then you spend another 45 minutes trying to patiently read her mind.

Enter Bridechilla.


Once upon a time, you may have done a happy dance the minute you heard about Bridezilla’s exact opposite, but dare I say it…?

Instead, Bridechilla seems like Bridezilla’s ugly stepsister, not the breath of fresh air you were envisioning.

The problem is, nine times out of ten, Bridechilla’s not vindictive. She’s not trying to make your wedding business grind to a halt if you don’t pay attention to just her, that very second.

No, in fact, she’s so passive, you have to wonder why she’s even planning a wedding in the first place. She’s even sometimes so sweet that it makes you feel guilty for getting all… Bridezilla-like.

What just happened there?

To be honest, with all of the negative connotation surrounding bridezillas (and the 2004 reality show helped to showcase how bad it can get) some brides purposefully bend over backward to be laid back—to their detriment, and, unfortunately, for your wedding business’, too.

While it’s easy to identify a bridechilla (her mom may be doing all the talking for her while she lazily checks Snapchat on her phone) dealing with one may require some very specific tactics.

Here are some helpful tips for working with Bridechilla:

  1. Give her very, very few choices.In fact, if you can, give her just two options. You ask, “Would you like pink dahlias or pink zinnias for your bridesmaid bouquets?”Opening up three or more options to her will likely overwhelm Bridechilla. The simpler you can make her choices, the better off you’ll both be.
  2. Play the “imagination” game.Tell her that she needs to tell you as quickly as possible some things she prefers. You say, “Bridechilla, can you think in your head what you’ll look like on your wedding day? Okay, great. Now, are you wearing a birdcage or a traditional veil?”Admittedly, she can always say she doesn’t know, but sometimes, it helps to offer up a visualization exercise.
  3. Try to provide Bridechilla with the real deal of whatever your business has to offer, and if you can’t do that, show her photos between the two options you offer.For example, it’s tough to have a cake fully constructed and made just for her, but if you provide samples of cake and frosting—well, that’s a given—and as many photos to back it up, her mind just might be made up.
  4. Be supportive when she does make a decision.Be encouraging. Even if she hems and haws but finally makes a decision about what she wants the boutonnieres to look like, at least she’s made a decision—even if it’s a small one.Applaud her and say, “Now wasn’t that easy? Let’s look at something else and make that decision next.”
  5. Encourage her to bring a friend, her mom, her fiancé to your wedding business with her. They can help you help her.
  6. Set up the expectation that you will make a decision that day.Say, “Do you mind if I help you make a decision? Yes? Great! By the time you leave today, you’ll have your earrings all picked out!”

Ultimately, it comes down to providing good customer service for these individuals—which includes providing a little bit more TLC.

However, if the Bridechilla phenomenon continues, just remember, if you work with her well, maybe she’ll tell all of her other bridechilla friends about you.

Photo credit.

Have you ever encountered a Bridechilla? Tell me about it below!