Wedding professionals are some of the weirdest people I know. I can say that because I am one.
They’re weird in the good way that makes them stand out. In an inspiring way that means not caring what other people think and doing what you love no matter how crazy it might look.
They’re awesomely weird because they let people see their eccentricities, and their couples love them for it.
Weird is inspiring. It makes us wonder:
Maybe I can be who I really am and that would be cool, too.
That’s what this article and this mission to show off the weirdness of the wedding industry is all about.
I’m starting a #WeirdWeddingPros movement to celebrate the thousands of little ways our breed is both weird and wonderful.
Wedding pros are awesomely weird. Shall I count the ways?
#1 – We go to weddings every weekend.
Weddings in themselves are bizarre experiences.
They started out as property exchanges (you get my daughter in exchange for two dozen cattle and a huckleberry pie). The bride traditionally wears white because Queen Victoria was a show off; only the rich could afford to keep white garments clean.
You’ve got flying floral arrangements, public groping for women’s undergarments, paparazzi chasing people around and women who’ve voluntarily shown up to an event wearing identical dresses. If that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is!
And it’s the only party everyone seems to think they own a piece of.
For those who attend these weird events every week, it gets even weirder.
We get to see the glue that holds the fantasy together — yes, sometimes the literal glue on a broken heel or lopsided wedding cake — and the sweat that goes into making it look effortless.
And this is our JOB.
#2 – We dream about other people’s weddings.
The faces of our couples float through our dreams. We obsess over the details: the wording, the design, the flowers, going over and over it in the effort to get everything perfect.
And the clincher: we wake up at 3am with the Most Awesome Idea Ever — for someone else’s wedding.
That is weird, my friend.
#3 – We have nightmares about other people’s weddings.
I haven’t entertained at a wedding for over two years and I still have “Other People’s Wedding” nightmares.
I’m rounding up the wedding party for the grand entrance, and I can’t find the couple. No one is listening to me, and my husband, Jeff, is nowhere to be found.
Or, horror of horrors, I transition to the next song and there is DEAD AIR.
My photographer friends recount nightmares of cameras that won’t take pictures and no backup equipment. Bakers dream of melting cakes that dissolve into a puddle. Officiants who can’t speak above a whisper.
Your weddings are our inspiration and our greatest fear when things go wrong.
#4 – We still cry at weddings.
Wedding pros are sentimental folk. No matter how many times we see the bride dance with her father, it still gets us.
Even on Wedding Number 1,072 we still get goosebumps when the groom can’t say his vows because he’s all choked up.
It doesn’t get old for people who truly love weddings, and you’re gonna see the waterworks to prove it.
#5 – We can recite the words to every popular wedding song, ceremony reading and Best Man’s toast on the internet.
There’s a scene in the movie Wedding Crashers where the two seasoned crashers make a bet on the reading.
Priest: And now for our second reading I’d like to ask the bride’s sister Gloria up to the lectern.
John Beckwith (Owen Wilson): 20 bucks First Corinthians.
Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughan): Double or nothing Colossians 3:12.
Gloria: And now a reading from Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians.
There are songs we used to love (“You Shook Me All Night Long,” “Build Me Up Buttercup”) that we can’t stand anymore because we’ve heard them thousands of times. (Some of us have nightmares about that, too. “Good God — not the YMCA!”)
We cringe when the Best Man makes his toast and asks the groom to place his hand over the bride’s hand because–wait for the punchline–it will be “the last time you’ll have the upper hand.”
Damn that “funny best man’s toast” search on Google.
#6 – We get off on basking in other people’s love.
There has never been a job where so much LOVE comes at you.
Yes, there’s the drama, the Bridezillas, Groomzillas, the Monster-in-Laws. But there are also moments that move you to tears, people saying, “I love you,” sometimes for the first time, and dancing together. How often do people get to dance together?
And we’re there soaking it all in, loving every minute of it.
#7 – We’re in love with love.
I know hundreds of wedding pros personally, first from working with them at weddings, then working with them as a business consultant. The people drawn to the wedding industry are an odd breed and they come in all shapes and sizes.
But down to a one, they’re in love with LOVE.
We believe in love so much so that we make it our living to celebrate it. We crave those moments of intense devotion, and devise new and unusual ways to help our clients express it.
When I ask a wedding pro the best thing about what he or she does?
“It’s all about the love, man.”
Still not convinced that wedding professionals are weird? Well, I asked them to reveal their weirdest quirks and foibles.
See for yourselves. I’ll start with my own confession:
I dance around like an idiot to annoy Jeff until he gives me attention. Actually, I do my worst Elaine-from-Seinfeld dance when I’m all by myself, just because. I add “ling” to the end of words and mispronounce them on purpose. As in “snack-ling” and “naminals” instead of “animals.” Each of my pets has a special song that I sing just for them. (But everyone does that, right?) I spontaneously break into song mid-sentence — even during webinars! – Stephanie Padovani, Book More Brides
I follow along with a Youtube video every morning from Tony Robbins where you have to yell out loud with all of your intensity the following chant, many times. “Now I am the voice. I will lead not follow. I will believe not doubt. I will create not destroy. I am a force for good. I am a leader. Defy the odds. Set a new standard.
Step up ~ Step up ~ Step up!” By the end I’m twirling around, jumping, hooting. People think I’m crazy.” – Edna Eudave, Square Eye Photo
The details of my life are quite inconsequential. Very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we’d make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it’s breathtaking, I suggest you try it. (The good Dr. stole it from me.) – Jim Eppes, Eppes Entertainment
I regularly attend rock and heavy metal shows like Slipknot and Five Finger Death Punch. I listen to said music when designing bouquets. My brides are never exactly like me, but think of me as that out there friend they have that is fun and creative, while helping to empower them and increase their confidence in their choices for their wedding. – Leann Moore, Whimsical Floral Design
I have worked in tourism development in more than 30 countries, including very remote regions. I have been attended wedding and romance events celebrating the Makushi culture in Guyana, the Mayan culture in the Yucatan, the Arabic culture in Palestine and the Mexican culture. Among my favorite memories are the Makushi dancers and a “wedding parade” where the bride and groom led a street party through the streets of Oaxaca, Mexico, with a “tequila burro,” people dressed as huge puppets, music and dancing. – Judy Karwacki, Weddings by Jubilee Travel
I love wearing stilettos! They empower me and make me feel my best, I share with my brides and grooms that they should wear and do what feels natural, what makes them happy, and smile! I have had brides wear soccer shoes and grooms wear Converse. Do what makes you feel good! Moms are not usually on board with this but it’s not their wedding. As the Millennials say YOLO. – Tonya Edinger, Weddings of Pittsburgh