7 Reasons why Brides don't contact you

You’ve got people visiting your website, but no one fills out your contact form.  People stop by your booth at the bridal show, but don’t answer the phone when you call.  Your online advertising is sending you traffic, but no leads.

What the heck is going on?

Chances are good that you’re making one or more of these mistakes that limit your effectiveness.

These reminders were inspired by Neil Patel’s article on lessons from the advertising legends.  (An excellent read, especially if you like to geek out on the psychology behind our behavior.)

#1 – You don’t give them a reason.

One of the biggest reasons brides and grooms don’t contact you is because you’re not asking them.

Most wedding business websites don’t even contain a call to action directing visitors to contact them!

If you don’t ask for the sale, you don’t get it.  If you don’t ask someone to call, they probably won’t.

This study by by Dr. Ellen Langer measuring the effects of language on behavior revealed:

  • 60% of people will do you a favor just because you ask them.
  • Providing a REASON for doing that favor increases the likelihood of action by 57%…even if your reason is nonsense!

Practice this in your email responses, on your website and when you speak to someone in person.

LESSON:  If you want more brides and grooms to do what you ask, add “because…” and give a reason afterward. 

#2 – You’re selling something they don’t want.

You can be the best salesperson in the world, but if the person you’re talking to doesn’t want or need what you’re offering, they will never buy.

Let me give you an example…

I ran across an artist who started a business selling portraits of bridal bouquets.  The idea was that instead of preserving the flowers, the bride would hire her to paint them.

Everyone said, “What a great idea!”  The artist’s work was featured in national magazines.  Yet no one was buying.

Why?  It simply wasn’t something they wanted.

LESSON:  If couples aren’t buying, examine your offer and the way it’s communicated.  Are you selling something they actually want, or something you want to sell?

#3 – You’re not tracking your ROI.

“Stephanie, what does tracking have to do with getting brides and grooms to contact me?” you may ask.


Most wedding pros practice random acts of marketing.  They advertise on this website, buy that print ad, do some social media.  Sometimes they get leads and sometimes they don’t.

Untracked marketing efforts are a wasted opportunity to learn what works to get couples to ACT.

Without a way to track the results you get from what you’re doing, you can’t measure what works.  And you can’t use what you learn to get more couples to contact you.

LESSON:  Don’t engage in any marketing activity until you’ve figured out how to measure your results from it.

#4 – You’re not reminding couples about what they value.

This reason relies on one of the principles of influence described by Robert Cialdini in Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion: commitment and consistency.

Commitment and consistency demonstrates the tendency of people to be influenced to act in accordance with their commitments.

If I sign a petition to my Senator asking that Lyme Disease should be covered by insurance (for example) then I will be unconsciously influenced to make future decisions that are consistent with that action.  When someone asks me to donate to the cause, I’m going to feel pressure to comply.

You can use this commitment and consistency principle in your wedding business by reminding couples about what is important to them before you ask them to take an action.

For example, an invitation designer might conduct a survey of her potential clients asking them how important it is for them to have one-of-a-kind custom designed invitations.  When a client rates this as an important value, they will be more likely to contact the invitation designer as proof of the commitment they’ve professed.

LESSON: Remind your ideal couples about what’s important to them before you ask them to take action.

#5 – You’re not speaking to the couple’s emotions.

People buy on emotions, then they rationalize the purchase with logic.

If you’re only appealing to the bride or groom’s logic — how they get more dynamic sound with your speakers or why professionally applied makeup looks better in photos — and you don’t address the emotional motivation for the purchase, they are much less likely to act.

In Cashvertising, Whitman lists 8 basic needs motivating all behavior:

  1. Survival
  2. Enjoyment of food
  3. Freedom from physical and emotional pain
  4. Sexual companionship
  5. Comfortable living conditions
  6. Superiority and winning
  7. Protection of loved ones
  8. Social approval

When you focus only on the features of your product or service, you’re neglecting the underlying emotions that influence them to buy.

LESSON:  Determine how what you do fulfills one or more of these basic life motivations and communicate it in your marketing.

#6 – You’re making things too complicated.

We love the idea of choice.  We think we want to have a million options.

Yet when faced with choices, humans are easily overwhelmed.  Too many choices makes us unhappy, and being faced with a complicated situation is confusing.

We often make things much more complicated than they need to be.  For example, wedding pros will include 3-7 different calls to action in a typical email response.  They’ll invite the bride/groom to:

  • Respond to a series of questions.
  • Call them.
  • Visit their website.
  • Like them on Facebook.
  • Read their reviews.

Present too many possible actions or confuse your couples with complicated details and you’ll overwhelm them into not responding at all.

LESSON: Keep things simple to encourage a swift response.

#7 – You don’t stand out from the competition.

You have about 5-7 seconds to make that first impression.  (And that’s being generous.)

If the bride or groom can’t tell what makes you different from the competition immediately, they’re on to the next.  You’ve lost the chance for action.

LESSON:  Be clear about your speciality and communicate who you help, what you do and why they should care right away.

Psychology For More Leads

If you want to get more brides and grooms contacting you, take the time to learn a bit about the psychology of human behavior.  That’s really what marketing is all about.

The better you understand what makes your clients tick, the better you can help them take actions that will be good for you both.

What do you think?