I’m not a singer. But there I am standing in front of my family and friends, a microphone in my hand. Inhale. Exhale.

How did I get myself into this?

It’s my birthday and for some bizarre reason, I’ve decided to sing, “Closer to Fine” by the Indigo Girls. Ever since I heard it at age 15, it’s been my theme song, the pronouncement of what my life is and what I’m trying to do. I know every word by heart.

And now I’m singing it. My husband Jeff and my friend Dahlia have my back, but this is about me and my voice making it happen. Or not.

I’m scared.

What Do You Really Want?

I’m thinking about why wedding vendors don’t go for what they want. There are a million reasons, and some of them even make sense. 🙂

Some of wedding professionals can’t even tell me what they want because they don’t know how to recognize it anymore. They’ve gotten that good at ignoring it.

But you know. Deep down, you can still find that dream, that voice that says, “I want,” that vision of a possibility. You can still find that spark of desire.

What’s holding you back?

The reasons and excuses are thousands of shapes and forms of the very same thing…


Fear of what might happen if you do. Fear of what will happen if it works. Fear of failure. Fear of what everyone…or maybe someone in particular…will think. Fear of what you’ll lose.

Fear kills dreams.

The Rocking Chair Test

Imagine yourself on your 90th birthday, sitting in your rocking chair. Think about what you want.

If you DON’T do it, how will you feel thinking about it when you’re old and gray, looking back on your life?

There’s NO LOSS in going for it.

True, it might not work. You might flop. You might open your mouth to sing and forget the words or hit all the wrong notes.

But every time you go for what you want that success muscle gets stronger. Your skin gets thicker. Your confidence grows because you know you CAN get what you want, and you know you deserve it, and you know that each and every action gets you closer and closer.

So get off your butt and go for what you want. Your business deserves it. You deserve it.

Take one action that scares the crap out of you today. If it leaves you trembling, it’s a sign that it’s exactly what you need to do because it means EVERYTHING to you.

Ask out that hot number you’ve been thinking about for months. Publish that edgy photograph. Say that thing you know is going to piss people off. Act on that crazy idea for your business.

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

Open Up and Sing

I haven’t had a voice lesson in years. “Stop singing like a little girl!” my voice coach used to say.

I sing off key. I lack power. I have no technique.

But I have a voice, and by God, I’m going to use it. (And not just on my birthday, either.)

What’s Stopping You?

There’s never been a bigger opportunity for your wedding business to succeed than right now.

How can I say that with the sluggish economy and unemployment and debt and political unrest and…?

The internet has leveled the playing field for us as small businesses. We can instantly reach an audience of thousands, millions, with one click. It’s never been easier to compete with the Big Boys and to find the people who are looking for you.

All you need is a song and the balls to stand up and sing.


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Stephanie Padovani

Stephanie is a Hudson Valley wedding insider, blogger, writer, and wedding business coach. Want to book more weddings at higher prices? Quit dealing with price shoppers? Transform your wedding business so that it supports the life you really want? Look her up! They don't call her the Wedding Business Cheerleader for nothing. :)

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0 thoughts on “Why You Don’t Have What You Want”

  1. I know what I want .. but not how to get it. Print advstg. fails miserably in this click age. T’marketing fails because no one answers if a caller i.d. is blocked, or if they know who you are and decline to answer, ever. So email, FB, and other social media sites seem to be the only avenues, totally lacking in face to face time. And I don’t DO mobile apps .. I hate my cell phone…took me over 5 yrs to cave and get one, and I still hate it. It’s for safety, emergencies, and on-the-road time, if I have to use it…and I WON’T talk while I am driving, I don’t care who it is. Anyone else in this scene, too?

    1. Linda, it sounds like you’re really well acquainted with what ISN’T working, which means it’s time to try something different.

      [b]Anything different has a greater likelihood of working than what you’re doing right now that [i]isn’t[/i] working.[/b]

      Print advertising still works…but only if you’re got an amazing ad (99% of wedding vendors fail at this) with a call to action and something equally compelling brides find on the other side once they take that action.

      Email and social media also work as a part of an overall marketing strategy.

      Speaking of face to face time, what about in person networking with other vendors? Bridal shows? Other creative ways to get in front of brides?

      It sounds like it’s not lack of knowing HOW to do it that’s stopping you. What’s blocking you is a belief that [i]no matter what you try, it isn’t going to work[/i].

      Until you let go of that belief, you’re probably right. 🙂

  2. Cindy Brown says:

    Now that we’ve heard you sing Closer to Fine, we’ll have to go back and listen to all your Book More Brides videos again!!!

    1. Thanks, Cindy. I’m still blushing over this quite imperfect performance. 🙂

  3. Deciding on what you want is the problem for many people – taking action to get what you want is only part of the problem – deciding the best way also deserves thought.

    1. [quote name=”Wedding DJ Kent”]Deciding on what you want is the problem for many people – taking action to get what you want is only part of the problem – deciding the best way also deserves thought.[/quote]

      DJ Kent, thanks so much for your thoughtful comments. I love reading your posts!

      Thinking about a course of action is good…as long as it doesn’t keep you from acting. In my experience, most people have a “too much thinking, not enough action” problem. 😉

      ‘Tis better to act and screw it up than to remain inactive and accomplish nothing. At least when you mess up, you learn something.

    2. carol cadoo says:

      I have this huge lump in my throat so it is a good thing I am typing and not talking. This blew me away I hardly know what I think as it had such impact I need to digest it, then react. But I can tell you this I am forwarding to everyone on our staff including the owners and every other industry professional I know. Not to mention family, friends and strangers. Wow so impressed thanks for the shot of energy.

      1. Carol, thank you SO MUCH for sharing this.

        I was feeling that lump in my own throat as I wrote this. If even one person is touched, it’s all worth it.

        Let’s sing our songs together! 😉

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