What’s the biggest challenge facing your wedding business right now?

Is it…

  • Getting more leads?
  • Booking more weddings?
  • Finding more time?
  • Convincing “price shoppers” to pay the price you deserve?
  • Simply making more money so you can pay the bills?

When the problem gets really big, it’s all we think about. It’s like a jagged splinter in the bottom of our foot, and we can’t make one move without screaming in pain.

The good part about all that PAIN (yes, I can find a silver lining even in that!) is that it motivates us to find a solution.

Here’s the problem…

The way we think when we’re trying to solve our biggest problem usually only makes it WORSE.

The Blame Game

This is what I’m talking about. Identify your biggest challenge as a wedding professional RIGHT NOW. It might be on the list above or something else.

When you think about it, what questions do you ask yourself to solve the problem?

If you’re like me and most of the rest of the humans on this planet, you’re probably asking yourself: What is the problem? How did this start? Why is this happening? Whose fault is it? What’s stopping me?

Sure, this line of questioning can give you some useful information. At least you know you have a problem. But this is playing the “Blame Game.”

We can all think of a wedding vendor who does nothing but whine and complain about the economy, the government, cheap brides and grooms, and how they never have enough money or book enough weddings.

We play the Blame Game when we’re trying to solve our problems, but if we want to get results we need to shift from obsessing about the problem into imagining the solution.

Playing the Blame Game when it comes to the challenge or frustration you’re facing only makes you feel bad. You’re stuck. You’re focusing on what’s wrong instead of the desired outcome you want.

If you want to solve your problem, you need to change your focus.

What Do You REALLY Want?

Instead of focusing on the problem, start imagining the outcome you want. This allows you to use the power of your imagination to visualize, feel and hear the situation the way you want it, and this frees up your creativity to find a solution.

Identifying the problem and what you DON’T want isn’t enough. You need to know what you want, what it looks, feels, sounds and tastes like in order to get it.

So let’s transform that Blame Game mentality into an active solution, shall we?

Do this exercise with me and notice how it changes your thinking and opens up possibilities. (In case you want to get geeky with me, this is called the “Outcome Frame” in Neuro-linguistic Programming.)

Don’t get lazy on me, here. Do this! It will bring you closer to the change you want in your life and business. Otherwise, you’re going to stay stuck right where you are.

CONFESSION: I’ve already used this exercise to make myself to get up when my alarm clock goes off every morning (no more hitting snooze!) and to sleep more soundly through the night. It really works to transform your life!

Life Transformation Exercise

Thinking of the biggest challenge for your wedding business right now, write down your answer to the following questions:

  1. What do you want? If you’re not sure, ask yourself what experience, skill or ability you’d like to have in this situation.
  2. When do you want it?
  3. How will you know when you have it? List the specific actions, behaviors and results.
  4. When you do have it, what other things in your life will improve?
  5. What resources do you have RIGHT NOW that can help you get what you want? These resources may be people, contacts, skills, information, etc.
  6. How can you best use those resources to get what you want?
  7. What action can you take TODAY to begin getting what you want?

Notice how you feel after answering these questions.  It’s a lot different than the misery that comes from examining the problem and obsessing like you were doing before, right?

After doing this exercise, you’ve defined exactly what you want, how you’ll recognize it when you have it, and all the tools and resources you currently have that will help you get it. Best of all, you’ve determined an ACTION to take today to start making it happen.

Question #7 is CRITICAL. If you don’t take action, nothing will ever change.

Use the momentum you’ve started to get closer to what you want. Take that action!

Then leave me a comment and tell me:

  • What’s the biggest challenge you’re facing right now?
  • What action are you going to take today to get what you want?

I can’t wait to hear about your experience!

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Posted By

Stephanie Padovani

Stephanie is a Hudson Valley wedding insider, blogger, writer, and wedding business coach. Want to book more weddings at higher prices? Quit dealing with price shoppers? Transform your wedding business so that it supports the life you really want? Look her up! They don't call her the Wedding Business Cheerleader for nothing. :)

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0 thoughts on “The Questions You’re Asking Are Killing Your Wedding Business”

  1. Jon Sharp says:

    This reminds me of the smokers dilemma!

    For those of us who’s history includes smoking, there is always a reason to have just one more, after a meal, socialising etc etc.

    Like many ex-smokers I tried time & time again and numerous remedies. The one that worked, instead of the AA mantra “I have not had a cigarette today” I simply said mentally and if asked “I don’t smoke!” Once that was in my head. Mind over matter.

    1. Jon,

      This reminds me of a quote from the movie Dead Again, where Robin Williams played a former shrink working in a grocery store.

      He notices the main character holding his pen like a cigarette, and the lead tells him he “used to” smoke.

      “You’re either a smoker or a non-smoker,” he says. “Decide what you are and be that.”

      Not to get too flaky, but when we change our self-concept, the way you did about the smoking, the effects are profound.

      Your “new” you simply didn’t smoke. :-)

  2. Marika and TJ, it definitely has some elements of “The Secret.” I’ve watched it and read [i]Think and Grow Rich[/i]…twice.

    The think I like about this NLP approach is that this is the first step that gears you up for ACTION. It’s what I found sadly lacking in some of the positive thinking philosophies.

    It’s great to have positive thoughts, but thinking alone doesn’t get the job done. 😉

  3. Excellent Article! The
    Life Transformation Exercise really made me examine what was going on. It seems I have the know how, just was scared to put it into practice. As the Good Witch of the North said to Dorothy, “You have had the power all the time”.

    1. [quote name=”Rebecca Kennedy”]As the Good Witch of the North said to Dorothy, “You have had the power all the time”.[/quote]
      Knew that witch was onto something. :-)

  4. TJ the DJ says:

    If you want to expand on this idea, watch The Secret and/or read Think & Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. Bob Proctor is another fellow to look into. It’s all about having the right mindset to attract the things in life you want.

  5. Marika Lane says:

    Stephanie, I love your articles and the way your write them. You’re right about the “blame game” – so right! Your article reminds me of using the principals of the “The Secret” and positive thinking does work. I look forward to your future articles. :)

  6. I love what you you’re doing here. Please keep up the good work Steph. [url]Upstate NY Wedding[/url]

  7. Nice article, as always! Straight to the point, to where I need to go by myself. One should take these questions monthly so the edge keeps sharp!

    1. Thanks, Niko! The best way for me to learn this stuff is to share with you. :-)

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