Ever had a “mid-life crisis” with your wedding business?

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It’s a time when you’re just feeling…blah…about what you’re doing. Maybe you’ve plateaued and you just don’t have the FIRE for it like you used to.

I sure have. About 6 years ago I was ready to give up our wedding DJ business altogether. The business was going well, but it felt like it owned ME, not the other way around. I just needed a change.

I started looking for answers, found the teachings of Eben Pagan, and it ended up changing my life.

Instead of feeling like I was “just playing music” for our couples, I realized that I had a much bigger job: to help the couple feel safe and taken care of during the planning process, and to channel their sense of love and fun on the wedding day.

I started listening to brides in a deeper way. Sometimes Jeff and I even stepped into a role of therapist. (If you’ve ever talked down a panicked bride, you know exactly what I mean!)

I wrote an eBook about planning a wedding, set up an email sequence full of tips to help our couples, and really upped the ante by making it my JOB to be there for them through the whole planning process.

It breathed new life into our business, and into me.

Why am I sharing this? Because I’m having another “mid-life crisis,” and I figure you might be, too.

If you just aren’t inspired by your work anymore, it’s time for a change. Sometimes, it’s a full blown “mid-life crisis” type change in the entire direction of your work, your approach or your lifestyle.

Another Reason to Love Hugh Jackman

I just read a brilliantly simple bit of advice from the actor Hugh Jackman, whom I love. (When I told that to Jeff, he said, “You and every other red blooded woman.”)

This is an excerpt from Hugh Jackman’s letter to his 16 year old self, complied in the book Dear Me: A Letter to My Sixteen-Year-Old Self…

“Keep writing down one list…and one list only…the 5 things you love to do, and the 5 things you are good at…they will keep changing, but one day they will match up…and there is your path…”

God bless you, Hugh! This a simple, clear way to make sure you’re headed in the right direction.

Purpose + Passion + Profit

The reason we don’t feel passionate about what we do sometimes is because we may be good at it, but it’s not what we love. That’s when it stops feeding us.

The trick is to put what you love back into what you do, and to gradually focus on doing more of what you love…and making money from it.

I believe you CAN make money from what you love. In fact, if you align your sense of purpose in life with the work you’re passionate about doing, getting into profit will be faster, easier and more fun than you can ever imagine.

5 Things I Love and 5 Things I’m Good At

Okay. I’ll be the guinea pig for my own experiment here. 5 things I love to do…

  1. Write.
  2. Connect with people emotionally using my written and spoken voice.
  3. Learn about communication and learning behavior.
  4. Listen to live music.
  5. Create trainings that help others.

And here are 5 things I’m really good at…

  1. Writing.
  2. Reading for an audience.
  3. Being a wedding DJ.
  4. Listening for understanding.
  5. Communicating ideas clearly.

Hmmm. My lists aren’t exactly aligned, but there is some overlap.  My job is to get good at more of the things I love, and do more of them.

This little exercise confirms that the transitions in my work and life are on the right track. Though I love working with our couples, it doesn’t give me as much of the work I really love involving learning, teaching and writing.

Which is why we’re shaking up our whole lives right now and pouring our energy into Book More Brides…and into helping you.

Ready to try out Hugh’s advice for yourself?

  1. Write down 5 things you love to do.
  2. Write down 5 things you are good at.
  3. Look for the gap and the overlap. How can you do more of the things you love? Can you bring those into your wedding business in some way?

Now is the perfect time to shake up your life a little bit. Now is the time to evaluate where you are and figure out how to do more of what you love. NOW is the only time.

I don’t usually share articles like this, so do me a favor and leave a comment to let me know…

Is this helpful? Do you like articles like this or do you prefer something else?

Thanks for not leaving me in the dark. And thanks for listening. :)

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Stephanie Padovani

Stephanie is a Hudson Valley wedding insider, blogger, writer, and wedding business coach. Want to book more weddings at higher prices? Quit dealing with price shoppers? Transform your wedding business so that it supports the life you really want? Look her up! They don't call her the Wedding Business Cheerleader for nothing. :)

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14 thoughts on “Hugh Jackman and My Wedding Business Mid-Life Crisis”

  1. Thank you for this. I stopped reading and actually did the exercise and it was really hard to come up 5 things for both list. The 5 Things I’m Really Good At list was especially hard. I’m going to keep this lost posted on my desk and revise it over time.
    I was also happy that you finally revealed your online mentor, Eben Pagan. Just this afternoon I was thinking of emailing you ro ask where you learned all this. Now I know!

    1. [quote name=”Christopher Johnston”]Thank you for this. I stopped reading and actually did the exercise and it was really hard to come up 5 things for both list. The 5 Things I’m Really Good At list was especially hard. I’m going to keep this lost posted on my desk and revise it over time.
      I was also happy that you finally revealed your online mentor, Eben Pagan. Just this afternoon I was thinking of emailing you ro ask where you learned all this. Now I know![/quote]

      Chris, I bet you’re really good at AT LEAST five things. Ask your closest family and friends; sometimes they see clearer than we do.

      Eben? When do I NOT talk about Eben?

      (One of my friends jokingly called me “Ms. Eben” a while back and it made my millenium. That’s how much he is my hero.)

      Other online mentors of note: Leslie Rohde and Dan Thies, Jeff Walker, John Carlton, Frank Kern, Sean D’Sousa.

      I follow a bunch of people, but none as closely as Eben. I’ve spent over $7,000 on his training products alone, and it was worth every penny. :-)

  2. So, I agree that it’s a great excersize and I think I’ll adopt doing it once a month as a new years resolution. However…what about all the time and energy we expend on the stuff we aren’t good at. I’d love to focus more on the things I love to do that I am good at but end up spending too much time on the things I am not good at that I dislike doing. If I could afford to I’d outsource them, but I’ve not been able to grow large enough for that. Bookkeeping would top that list, lol. Any suggestions for me?

    1. [quote name=”Getting2KnowU”]I’d love to focus more on the things I love to do that I am good at but end up spending too much time on the things I am not good at that I dislike doing. If I could afford to I’d outsource them, but I’ve not been able to grow large enough for that. Bookkeeping would top that list, lol. Any suggestions for me?[/quote]

      This is an excellent question!

      Here’s what I suggest: figure out your hourly rate. That’s what your time is worth.

      Now figure out how much it costs to hire a bookkeeper. (It’s about $35 per hour here in NY.)

      [b]If your hourly rate is higher than the cost of outsourcing, having someone else do the work yields a good return on investment.[/b]

      Think of it this way: bookkeeping doesn’t make you money. But you can use the time you save by having someone else do it on money-making activities for your business.

      This is a big mindset shift, but once you start doing it, your life will never be the same. We started outsourcing a few years ago, and we’re never going back.

      Any successful business person with a growing business simply HAS to outsource because your time and resources are limited. Not only is it not fun to do all those mundane tasks, it holds you back.

      You can often hire college kids or virtual assistants for $10 an hour or less.

      In short, if you really want your business to grow, you can’t afford NOT to outsource.

      P.S. Bookkeeping was one of the first tasks I dumped, too. 😉

      1. Great way to think about it. I don’t know how I’m going to change my mindset of “I can do it all,” but I know I’ve got to. This formula of figuring out what my time is worth is something I can get behind, though. :)

  3. Jacqueline says:

    Thank you. Very useful information. Will definatly try this out as lists are good. Helps to clear the mind and stay focused.

  4. This was a great article to read. Sometimes I get a little discouraged and “blah” about my work, and I was starting to wonder if there was something wrong with me! I do love what I do, after all.

    Also, I’m wondering why I haven’t gotten an email from Book More Brides in a while? I looked forward to those! :)

    1. Glad to offer some encouragement! Everyone gets burnt out sometimes if we work too hard or do too much of the “un-fun” stuff, even if we love what we do.

      I checked our email database, and you haven’t been getting emails from us because you (or someone from your email) unsubscribed.

      You can always sign back up at this link: http://bookmorebrides.viprespond.com/email-subscribe

      Glad you like hearing from us!

      1. Thanks so much! I’m resubscribed(don’t know how I got unsubscribed in the first place, but oh well).

  5. Leslie and Rebecca, I’m so happy this was helpful for you! I love the simplicity of this list, especially when I tend to over-complicate things. :-)

    “Speak enthusiasm from the get-go, or the go will get somewhere else.”

    Truly said, Linda! I’ve had enough of not loving what I do. If I can’t transform it, it’s time to move on.

    I would love to hear what you love and what you’re leaving behind for 2012.

  6. Linda Ruckdeschel says:

    If you don’t love what you’re doing, WHEN you’re doing it .. others will notice. If you love what you’re doing, it will inspire you to greater heights, and truly, it shows all over. Speak enthusiasm from the get-go, or the go will get somewhere else.

  7. It was a good article. I really like lists. I have written down my goals for years, and it is interesting to see what I accomplish and what is not on my to do list anymore. I like this technique for getting things aligned. Very helpful. Thanks!

  8. Leslie says:

    I really appreciate this. I am just starting out in my business and sometimes I get discouraged, but I love it and have been thinking about the other things I love to do and how to incorporate them into my business.

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