How to Fit In At WeddingsIf you’re reading this, there’s a fine chance you’ve seen the movie Wedding Crashers.

If you haven’t, you can probably guess what it’s about just by the name: a comedy about a couple of guys who crash weddings for fun and booze.

Welp, according to CBS News, a couple of people have pulled that off in real life.

A couple of jokers snuck in and had a blast at a New Jersey wedding reception they weren’t invited to.

Not to challenge CBS’s journalistic integrity, but it all sounds a littttttle too good to be true for me.

The groom, bride, and wedding party were all, conveniently, “too distracted” to ask these guys who the hell they were.

They all almost asked them before being pulled away by “a good song” or whatever.

Apparently, the crashers left a dollar bill and a note that said, “Congratulations, sorry for crashing your wedding, best of luck.” The couple and the writer of the story seem to find this detail charming, but I find it kind of insulting.

Outside of a vending machine, a convenience store, or a kid’s lemonade stand, isn’t a $1 kind of an F-U amount of money?

Well, the couple were, disarmingly enough, delighted with the interlopers. “”I want to shake their hands and tell them good job,” said the bride.

If this is true – a big if – it does prove that if you know how to be social, you can have a good time and garner referrals and rave reviews, even a wedding full of strangers.

“A wedding full of strangers” is part of the job description for wedding pros like you. So how do you have a good time? And how do you ensure others are having a good time, at least to the best of your ability?

Here are a few pointers.

1. Your Job Comes First

Hopefully, this goes without saying.

You can do what you can to mingle, help others mingle, or look after the loner glumly drinking a Mai Tai in the corner by themselves only when your duties are done or inexorably paused.  Especially facing temptations at a gorgeous destination wedding locale, remember that you are at work.

2. Small Talk Exists For A Reason

Maybe I’m being unfair or downplaying an aspect of people’s legitimate social anxieties, but I bristle when people say that hate small talk.

It comes off as, “I’m so smart and serious that I can only be arsed to converse about the most important stuff, mannnn.

Well, come off it. You don’t know the woman in the cocktail dress well enough to discuss the finer points of Keynesian Economics yet, but if she comes up to you to chat, jovially respond and do your share to keep the conversation going.

If you’re convivial, the guests will appreciate it and so will the bride and groom that hired you.

3. On The Other Hand, Don’t Go Out Of Your Way

Unless you happen to be close to the bride or groom, it’s safe to say no one’s there to see you.

However, if you take my advice about being convivial too far, you could find yourself making uninvited toasts, obtrusively trying to snatch up dance partners, and generally chewing up the scenery.

Try to have a good sense to when to party, when to work, and when to sort of be a friendly and supportive but nonetheless background figure.

If you have to ask or wonder, it’s probably wise to bet on the latter two.

Do you have any pro tips for fitting in at weddings?

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Kevin Beane

Kevin Beane is from Akron, Ohio. He loves sports (check out his BBC-recognized column here), poker, and sleep, but above all comedy (particularly the sketch and improv varietals) which he performs around the Dallas area.

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One thought on “How to Fit In At Weddings (Since You’ll Be There Anyway)”

  1. A well written and very timely reminder that we, as wedding pros, can make an extra effort to make all feel included. Though you may not be “The Host” you do have the abilities to engage.

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